wait, first some background.
I grew up in a very rural community. I was awkward, my hair was always a mess (really!) - anybody who grew up in a small town knows that once people "know" you, that's what they know. You cannot escape it, you are in that mold.
It's pretty obvious from my early photos that I'm "sanguine" - Myer Briggs and all that.
Even from a young age, my best friends were the ones who "didn't quite fit in"; I guess maybe because I didn't fit it. I am super-smart (way back then, the theory was that girls didn't have as high of an IQ as boys so in 2nd grade they gave me an IQ test three times because they didn't believe it.) Kids show off what they know in order to be accepted, but in grade school, "smart" is not the fast track to that.
By the time I was in the middle of grade school, I don't remember having any close friends. I became a loner, a "book worm" and an introvert. We went to a very small church and the kids I was there with were nice to me there, but largely ignored me at school. Even a youngster knows how to interpret that. It was not until my junior year in high school that I had a "best friend".
I grew into an easily intimidated, shy, quiet person. Unsure of myself.
A true LYT Type 2 is not those things, but I think that somebody growing (or getting pushed) into that secondary eventually gets to be those things in order to protect themselves.
I was "living in my secondary" in an unhealthy way...
Or better put, I used my secondary to grow unhealthy habits.
My first marriage distanced me from that and I grew away from my upbringing. My first husband died and for the first time, I was responsible for being "me" and I started growing.
My second marriage is different than my first. Phil encourages me to grow in ways that nobody ever has. I feel like I grew back into what I started out as.
LiveYourTruth Type 1 (as always I won't break any copyrights to explain that.)
So...this happened a couple of days ago.
FaceBook is a good place to stay connected and a bad place if you don't like drama. I use it to get information out there.
A person I knew from the time I was very little, from church and school - her dad was a deacon beside my dad - is on my Facebook friends list.
I posted an article that she didn't agree with and she came to my page and insulted my intelligence ("you just look dumb" and "I thought you were smart" and many more.)
My husband asked, "why are you letting her treat you like that?"
Especially since we share other Facebook friends from the same time, the same high school...who were posting the very same things and she's *NOT* going after them. Just me.
After hours of talking and thinking -
She was treating me as she knew me then.
Easy to make back down. Willing to put up with being bullied for the sake of getting along. Unsure of myself.
And in that moment, I was thrown back into that space in my head.
THAT'S NOT ME ANYMORE
As I "grow into" Type 1, the energy traits are more comfortable.
I am not willing to be bullied into silence.
I will not back down from my convictions for the sake of "getting along".
This woman has been told that she is not allowed to come to my personal page and insult me. She is not allowed to call names.
She's been told that mockery and sarcasm is not convincing me of anything.
I'm not living there anymore and I'm not going to give her space in my head.
I actually credit LiveYourTruth for getting me to this place. I had grown into Type 1 over a couple of decades, but didn't *understand* what that all meant until Carol Tuttle. So I thank her for that.
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